Teach me to love again
by IamDia
Summary: Santana and Brittany haven't seen each other in 10 years. San is a lawyer and moving to L.A. because she has to work with Brittany. Britt is successfull in her job, has a lot of money but lost herself & forgot how to love... Will Santana be able to help Brittany find love again?


**AN:** Welcome to my new Story, that I couldn't get out of my mind until I wrote it down. I have been working on it for a while. Review and / or PM me to let me know if you like it and what I can improve or if you have suggestions. I'll consider everything except for any mentions of Dani or Naya's BF because I don't believe in hate but I dislike both of them a lot haha

joseannethibo helped me out with a lot of things so thanks to you :) you are awesome (:

**Twitter:** IamDia5

**Title:** Teach me to love again

**Rating:** M

**Words:** 3,631

**Summary:** Santana and Brittany haven't seen each other in 10 years. San is a lawyer and moving to L.A. because she has to work with Brittany. Britt is successfull in her job, has a lot of money but lost herself & forgot how to love... Will Santana be able to help Brittany find love again?

* * *

After visiting another therapist you walk home, disappointed yet again.

It's always the same.

They tell you it's either because you hate your dad so much.

You are disappointed by your brother, who was once your role model.

Or because of your mom, who was always too dominant.

But this new therapist even brought up your dating history, claiming that you aren't able to have a long term relationship because of past experiences.

You have to laugh out loud, thinking it's hilarious, but still you tell her about them.

She didn't see you.

She wouldn't be able to see you.

You wouldn't let her see how you were feeling inside.

It took you years to lock up all emotions.

And now?

Even you aren't able to see them.

You can't see yourself and don't know who you really are anymore.

So...

How could she?

She didn't know you were laughing at her, so you told her about the many affairs you had.

About you breaking up with them when it got too serious for your liking or you always finding them cheating on you.

But the strange thing? It never bothered you. Not at all! Because it also meant you didn't have to end it and also meant you could use it for another girl.

You'd tell them your ex cheated on you and it would make them feel sorry and they'd be all over you to make sure you were fine. So you'd play a bit hurt and eventually it would end up with you having sex with them.

It always worked and that's what you also told her.

Then you told her the reason you where in her 'office' .

It was about Jessy.

The older woman,who showed you how to wear high heels without walking like a whore in the first place.

How to stop making your usually 'stupid' comments, or how people called it when you talked about Aliens, Santa or unicorns.

The woman that you had an 'by- the- side- affair-because- she- is- still- married'

How you spent your business-trips or rather called 'vacation' in the Hamptons together, with everyone knowing you were sleeping together.

But ignoring that she was the wife of your boss-daughter.

People didn't care, she didn't care, but most importantly You didn't care!

But like the word DIDN'T says... it's in the past now.

And not the past how you'd like it to be.

Nine hours ago you wanted to surprise Jessy because you found out her wife went on a business-trip, which meant mind-blowing-sex for the both of you.

So you drove up to their house, where you fucked Jessy's brain-cells out many times.

Sometimes in the bathroom, sometimes in the kitchen and almost every time in her and her wife's shared double-bed.

So you drove up there, with the new sex- toy, you just bought and walked up the stairs.

You also learned that you only are allowed to run if you are jogging or a serial killer is behind you.

Well the last one you just made up, because you haven't lost your humor completely. Even thought, people always tell you that. They also started to call you heartless now.

Anyway, you walked up the stairs, opened the front door, without knocking because you had a key that Jessy gave to you without her wife's knowledge, and walked through the door.

You were so excited, which was new to you because it was almost routine, that you didn't even hear the sounds that were coming out of the door.

Until you stood in front of it thinking she was pleasing herself.

You kept standing there for about a minute, enjoying the moans, thinking and knowing you pleasured her so much better.

That's what she always told you and there might be that slight hint that you always made her scream out loud. Even when you just started pleasing her.

You finally decided you heard enough, so you slowly opened the door, never thinking you'd see what you saw then.

There she and that whore of an assistant where, your assistant for that matter!

You caught them having sex in Jessy's house, not only there, but also in the double- bed.

The bed were you screwed her, many times, behind her wife's back.

It was the place you fucked her whenever you were angry.

It was YOUR place, your territory, even if it sounds bad, but it was true.

It was where you would get your anger out.

It was the place where you felt good, because apparently you were irresistible, at least for someone.

And now... someone stole your territory!

The only thing that came out of their mouth were "I can explain" and "shit".

You were so shocked that you couldn't even say a word until you saw Jessy putting on a too big Flannel-Shirt, the one you bought her in Barcelona and she always loved wearing it after you were done with sex.

Then you looked at your assistant that just asked "So... you guys are a couple?"

You always hated her, but she looked really hot, too hot.

And her almost black hair and brown eyes reminded you of- NO, you couldn't go there!

Your assistant was nothing like her!

No one could ever be like her.

Even if you often were pretending you were having sex with her while having sex with Jessy.

You'd look at her and see those beautiful black hair and the same body type. Then you'd ask Jessy to open her eyes, wishing to be able to look at those almost black eyes one more time. Only once.

She would open up her eyes, but you always looked away from them as fast as possible because those eyes weren't those you were craving.

Disappointed, you'd continue having sex and you'd go harder not caring about the woman underneath you.

Looking back that probably was the only reason you were with Jessy for so long.

(Of course you didn't tell your therapist that little detail about the black hair and eyes.)

"No, were not" Brings you back again from your thoughts. After a short pause and waiting until you look at her again she continues "Not yet."

And you let out a loud laugh, thinking that it will never happen. Then you realize they didn't look at you, you knew you looked neutral to them, you didn't show any emotions.

Which made you chuckle because that's how things were now. You didn't show emotions and you were perfect at it, but it also meant that people thought you were emotionless and heartless.

Hearing your assistant's "Oh" you roll your eyes because that means she will start talking again and you hate her voice that it's unbelievable how much someone can hate something.

"I guess... I...I... need to find a new job"

Again this heartless image of you.

You guess she interpreted your chuckle as you being happy that you can finally 'fire' someone again.

Somehow it's rumored that you fire assistant's when they make one small mistake or you just feel like firing someone.

You don't argue it because that way people respect you more.

You decided you kept quiet for enough time, you throw the toy on the bed and confidently say "Yeah, and you should use the toy to make sure she gets off the next time you fuck her. Believe me, I know it all. Have fun!"

With that you walked out, got into your Audi and drove off.

* * *

Here you are now, sitting on your expensive couch and drinking your second glass of scotch and laughing because of this ridicules situation.

Knowing that you'll go to work on Monday again and you will act as if nothing happened.

You just need to get drunk enough tonight and think this all through again and it will be fine.

But you also know it won't this time, because somehow it's different this time.

You look around seeing that you have everything people wish for and even would kill for.

You have an expensive black leather couch, because it's easier to clean after sex.

You have an expensive glass table and your walls are all white with a few black-and-white paintings hanging around.

Not to forget your 3D- TV, also in black and the white bookshelves around it and full of books, that you never really read.

You bought them just because you read online that people like smart people and smart means books, or so you were told.

You also read that a room should never be too filled up with stuff and to keep it simple. So you did and the last thing you are most proud of is your fireplace, which also is the only thing you own that doesn't scream 'money'.

You take another sip of your scotch and look at your other hand, which holds the key to Jessy' house.

You stand up and walk to your fireplace, never looking anywhere than the flame.

You let out a laugh and let the key fall into the flame and turn around walking back to sit down again.

Then you see the letter you got a few weeks ago but weren't able to throw away.

The headline of it read " Class Reunion of 2012" on the right side was a star and you knew it was all planed by Rachel Berry.

For the first time you look down at it and read through it because the first time you got it you threw it to the side without reading it first.

Just like you did with the '1 year' '3 year' and '5year' reunion of Glee.

Reaching the end of the letter you chuckle because you were right, it was written by the one and only Rachel Berry.

You wonder how she got your new, not so new, address.

You moved in this apartment after the last letter, because the company you're working for needed the one you lived in and because they let you live in it while you were in college and working for them, so you had no other choice. But it also meant you got another bigger place instead.

It doesn't take you too long until you have the perfect solution.

It could be your dad because he simply knows how much you hate him and was showing you how much he hated you back. That's how you always worked.

The other possibility is it could be your mom because she wanted to control everything again and thought she was the most helpful person on earth.

Or it was just another hint that you should call her because she is too proud to make the first call.

Then you see the P.S. After Berry's signed name: 'Your mom slightly pointed out that she misses you and you should call her... don't tell her I told you'

Yep, you were right.

You keep lying on your couch and almost finish your third cup of scotch when you fall asleep.

* * *

Waking up in the middle of the day you look around and see yet again that you spent another Friday night on your couch.

Then you get up and walk upstairs then through your bedroom to get to your bathroom.

And yet again, you hate that you have a two floor apartment.

After your long shower and putting on clothes you walk downstairs and see the mess, so you decide to start cleaning your apartment.

After about 20 minutes you decide to clean your living room table, which also means you can sit down while doing so.

But before you can you see a sheet of paper lying on the floor, next to the couch, so you pick it up and sit down.

It's the letter you didn't throw away.

Then it makes you think,wouldn't it be that bad if you would go?

It will be a good escape from this world for a while.

And there is this slight wondering inside you: How are the others right now? How do they look? Where are they living? What jobs do they have?

If they are more successful than you?

The reminder of the job makes your final decision so you call your Boss' number and wait for him to pick up.

"Brittany! Hello, it's nice that you call... But do I have to remind you that it's the weekend you don't work?"

Even thought he was old he still was awesome and understood how to still be funny.

He wasn't fake like the rest of this so called society and the worst his daughter who was greedy.

"Haha... Sorry for the call John. But I need a favour?" You also are the only person who is allowed to call him by his first name.

"I've been waiting a while for that"

"Huh"

"You want a pay raise.."

"Oh, no... that's not what I've wanted... But well if you are offering" You try to joke with him because you can tell by his voice that he was just trying to be funny.

"Well... then I have to say... Not a chance... at least not right now. But you were calling because...?"

"Ehm... I need a few days off..." before you can continue he answers

"Alright.. When?"

"Alright?Oh, Well I was thinking right now? Until... I'm not sure..."

"Alright! Just call back two days before you are coming back to let us know"

"You don't need persuasion? Or..." He interrupts you again.

"Brittany! You have been working with me for almost 10 years and you never once took a day off. Only when you had to! You are working more that me and my wife calls me a workaholic! You deserve this, ok?"

You're not sure what to say so you just say a "Thank you"

After that you end the call and start looking for a Hotel in Lima so you can stay there while you visit.

Because the one thing you know for sure is that you won't stay at your parents'.

You call the first Hotel and introduce yourself "Good Afternoon. I am Brittany S. Pierce and I wou-"

"Ha ha.. That was funny... You know how many times I got calls like that? Often.. Really often... Lady GaGa, Miley Cyrus, Jennifter Lopez and now Britney Spears? Great! Just Great! Stop calling!"

With that the guy ends the call and you look shocked at what just happened.

Then you call another Hotel but this time they believe you but tell you that they don't have any rooms anymore.

You tell them that you expect them to give you their best Hotel room because you will pay them 2,000 for one week, then you end the call without another word, without them approving.

Knowing that they will give you the room anyway. Because that's how society works.

Everyone who doesn't have the money will do anything for it, and who has the money will throw it out of the window to get anything.

So you will be driving to Lima on Tuesday, just to see everyone on Thursday.

And you can't help to smile because you will tell them to leave you the fuck alone and never talk to you again.

At least you thought you would until you saw the Latina's face again. How she always smiled at you and always knew how you were feeling and what you needed.

And with that you also remembered and this time didn't deny that she was also the girl, who broke your heart senior year.

The girl, you wanted to marry and have kids with.

The reason why you weren't scared to admit that you were gay to yourself and everyone else.

The reason why you acted like it didn't bother you what everyone else thought.

The reason why everyone calls you 'heartless' now.

But also the reason you can't have a long term relationship.

Yeah your therapist was right, you are the way you are now because of this one past relationship! But you would never admit that out loud.

"Santana is the reason why I haven't been to Lima for almost 10 years"

And with that you can't deny it anymore.

You are going to Lima and you are going to face everything and everyone you tried to avoid for almost 10 years.

You had no idea that it would change things...

* * *

You just got into your Hotel room and just like you predicted it you got the best room.

After you took your shower and put on your PJ you lied down and couldn't help but think about your last night in Lima, also in a hotel room because your parents didn't want you to wake them up in the morning when you left, they loved to sleep in when they could.

**FLASHBACK**

You were lying in the Hotel room for a couple of hours now and thinking about your live the past few months.

Knowing this was it. It was the end of your life... here in Lima and also you couldn't keep pretending you were still with Santana.

The girl that broke your heart, while singing 'Mine' by Taylor Swift. The girl that told you she wanted to take a break because she saw some girl looking at her in the library.

In Lima everything was almost the same, so you just started your day with pretending that Santana was sick that day and couldn't come to school.

When you came home from school you did your homework as fast as possible so you could lie in your bed, read all the old text- messages, look at old pictures and fall asleep dreaming about her and how everything was fine.

You knew it wasn't healthy, but it was the only way for you to be fine.

Until you saw a message Rachel sent you by mistake on FaceBook.

It was about Santana and some girl kissing passionately.

You logged out as fast as possible, trying to to forget about it.

But it didn't work out.

That night you decided to accept MIT's offer.

You called them and they told you it would be best if you'd come there on Friday so they can do all the paperwork. You agreed without knowing what day it was.

Then you found out you had 3 days until you had to leave.

That day was also the last time you logged in your FaceBook- page.

You also couldn't stop crying that night until you fell asl-

You were interrupted by your phone ringing.

"Kurt! You won't believe me when I tell you that Rachel saw Satan and some girl kissing... This is insane! Just don't tell Britt, coz she'll be depressed" Mercedes rushed out.

"You should really check who you are calling next time! And I already knew!"

"Britt?"

"Yeah! BYE"

With that you hang up the phone and it was also the last time you used that number.

That night you wrote another song..

I'm throwing away pictures

That i never should have taken in the first place

And it's cold inside my heart

As I'm changing all the colors

From the brightest reds to grays

Well it's 3 o'clock on Wednesday morning

I'm just hoping you're not seeing her face

I've been getting calls in these hotel rooms

Long enough to know that it was her

That took my place

And i hope this makes you happy now

That the flame we had is burning out

And i hope you like your pictures facing down

As broken hearts keep having their doubts

And I'm burning all the letters

Hoping that i might forget her and her bad taste

That she left when she was leaving me

A life of barely breathing as she walked

Out of this place

And you dropped the note and we changed

You changed yourself and i changed me

I really didn't see us going through this

Then you started singing

Ended with those cries

Oh it came out sooo fake

And you smiled the whole way through it

I guess maybe that's what's worse

And i hope this makes you happy now

That the flame we had is burning out

And i hope you like your pictures facing down

As broken hearts keep having their doubts

And I'm taking all your memories off the shelf

And i don't need you or anybody else

So take a look at me

See what you want to see

I'm on my way out

I'm on my way out

I'd rather die than be with you

I'm on my way out

I have a problem with the truth

I'm on my way out

Because this happens every time

I knew it would...

I knew it would...

I'm on my way out

I'd rather die than be with you

I'm on my way out

I have a problem with the truth

I'm on my way out

Because this happens every time

And i knew it would...

I knew it would...

And i hope this makes you happy now

That the flame we had is burning out

And i hope you like your pictures facing down

As broken hearts keep having their doubts

And I'm taking all your memories off the shelf

And i don't need you or anybody else

So take a look at me

See what you want to see

I'm on my way out

**END FLASHBACK**

Then you stop thinking about this because you know it's unhealthy.

Instead you decide it's finally time for you to start reading that one book you brought with you and after a while you fall asleep.

It's the first time in while that you have a smile on your face while sleeping and that's because you dream of the good times you and Santana had.

* * *

**AN:** That was the first Chapter :) The next one will be about Britt's Family, The reunion, Brittany rapping because who doesn't like Brittany rapping? Haha and of course Brittana moments :)

Let me know if you have any questions or suggestions? :)


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